Sunday, May 11, 2014

Stuff That Made Me Go "Huh"?


Have you heard of people having an “Aha moment”, when something finally makes sense to them? Rather than that, I have listed below some memorable “HUH??!!” moments from my last few months in France, when things made me pause or struck me as odd or funny or cute or mind-boggling. So here we go with:

Stuff I Saw That Made Me Go, “Huh?”

1.     A child riding a two-wheeler with a pacifier in her mouth. I will admit that this was a VERY young child. I don’t know which was weirder, the fact that this tiny kid could ride a two-wheeler or the fact that a child capable of riding a two-wheeler still needed a pacifier.
2.     A man teaching his son to pee against the side of the Catholic church wall.
3.     A poodle with pony tails, riding in a stroller.
4.     People allowing their dog to take a dump in the middle of the sidewalk and then just leaving their “gift” there for others to step over.
5.     Motorists driving on the tram tracks.
6.     A mom and her little daughter sitting near the canal, feeding the swans, the pigeons and the overgrown muskrats.
7.     A woman ordering her dog to get in the back of the car, and when he refuses, she proceeds to talk to him, reason with him, hug him, etc., but never once during the 10 minutes that ensued did she attempt to put him in the car or exert any force on him. Eventually, he rode up front.
8.     Beggars who appoint themselves to help you find a parking spot or who open the door for you at the post office, hoping for a hand-out.
9.     The woman who looked furtively over her shoulder before she grabbed a bunch of daffodils from the public flower bed and stuffed them in her purse.
10. The talent possessed by some people, enabling them to park their car in an impossibly small space.
11. A homeless man on a bike with a parrot riding on his shoulder.
12. The guy who hangs out everyday in front of the tattoo shop. (Words cannot describe this person. I will take his photo someday.)
13. The man who strolls by our apartment every Sunday carrying a fancy cane, wearing a top hat and a tuxedo with tails.
14. The way the little Jewish boys can play rough-and-tumble games and rarely lose their kippahs.
15. In French, jogging is called jogging, but it can also be called “footing”.
16. The talent of the street performers. Why are they on the street and not in a concert hall?
17. The old lady wearing a nice dress, sturdy shoes and a giant purse, who rides a scooter (not the motorized kind but the kind you have to push with your foot).
18. Canned foods like jars of applesauce and salsa that tell me to store them in the refrigerator after opening, and to eat them within 2 or 3 DAYS. What??
19. Doctor appointments that cost only 23 euros.
20. Homeless guys sitting outside playing chess.
21. The funny Anglicisms  and Americanisms that the French include in their speech, like SUPER! JACKPOT! Faire du SHOPPING. PARKING.
22. The fact that all nouns in German are capitalized.
23. Words that are not capitalized in french which are capitalized in English. (for example, the months, the days of the week, religions and the names of languages.)
24. Spicy food that…well…isn’t.
25.  The wine aisle at even the smallest grocery store in any French city…this is a thing to behold.